Tag Archive: elf


Film Review: The Hobbit (An Unexpected Journey)

Filed under: Film, Reviews — 8 Comments
December 28, 2012

More cinema! Dave and I are beyond lucky and the fact that we were able to see such a long film is testament to the wonderful people we are surrounded by.

So… The Hobbit. Prequel (if you like the term) to The Lord Of The Rings and a book which is just about a quarter of the length of The Fellowship Of The Ring. I’ve already had my rant about Peter Jackson splitting this book into three parts, but having seen this first part I can kinda see why. I’m not happy about it, but I’m not exactly unhappy either. It’s a curious balance.

The film opens with a wonderful recounting of the events at The Lonely Mountain in which Smaug takes over. For those of you who don’t know the story, or are concerned about spoilers, don’t read on. Bilbo has decided to tell the tale properly as it were, and I found myself quickly checking over Frodo’s fingers to make sure that what we were seeing was before the events of the previous three films.

It was wonderful to see so many roles reprised. I got over my rage over seeing Frodo and Galadriel there at all because it appears that all the events alluded to in various appendices, or over the course of The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings books, are being given screen time. Things like the meeting of the White Council, or Radaghast looking into the Necromancer in Mirkwood; all things that we know happen (if you are familiar with the books) but the detail is never really given. It is a nice touch, on some levels, to see it played out, though the purist in me remains rattled that the film does not follow the book religiously. Though there are some beautiful sections near the beginning where the script has been taken directly from the text. I found myself reciting along with the characters – under my breath – and enjoying them speak because I know the passages well enough to do so.

Oh and the dwarven singing! I am most familiar with the BBC Radio 4 dramatisation of The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings, but this version of their song ‘Far Over The Misty Mountains’ sent a chill through me. Loved it!

I am very much looking forward to the next instalment – I can’t help it – though I will continue to resent the fact that I have to. I think, it’s going to be two years before I can decide whether or not I am happy with the films overall and whether they are worth the wait.

For now though, I think it is certainly worth watching the film if you are a fan of Tokien’s work, Peter Jackson’s work, or a fan of any of the cast. Andy Serkis, as ever, was fabulous as Gollum and Ian McKellen suits the role of Gandalf right down to the ground.

^_^

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Guest Blog: Lembas Bread

Filed under: Guest Blogs — 4 Comments
May 22, 2012

Soooooo! In answer to my Call for Guest Posts I do have a selection of posts for you from various sources. These fabulous people have been kind enough to take time out of their days to write up a little something for this blog because I’m so crazy busy! You’ll see these pop up over the coming weeks so be sure to keep coming back!

This is the second post of the selection and, in a brief step away from writing covers an absolutely delicious recipe! You all know I’m a LARPer… well this post covers the making of one of the most delicious foods of elf-kind and, since I am a bit of an elf (no, for real… look at the Gallery!), I just couldn’t say no. Thank you so much Juls Stodel for sharing your incredible talent with us!

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I was extremely excited when given the go-ahead to do a guest post for the beautiful and exotic Ileandra; partly because it means that the presence of baby geeks-to-be is imminent and partly because it gives me an excuse to indulge my inner geek. See, I am a chef in training; next year I will be going to Leith’s School of Food and Wine (at present I am filling a year by taking a course at the local college with kids much younger than I am. I feel ancient at 24) and, from there, the world is my oyster (well, the West Country). The world of Food Blogging, which I am more familiar with, is one that is caked in this veil of smiles and cupcakes (I suck at cupcakes by the way – they go concave) but underneath it all, it’s serious business – don’t you dare so much as use pre-made pastry on your pie or it doesn’t count as home made you utter, utter fraud.

I first met Ileandra at Herofest, a LARPing event I believe she has spoken about a few times in these very blog pages, with her as a green-clad, glamorous Elf and I as a bedraggled, fur covered Valkyrie. We downed so many home-brewed concoctions together that I don’t think my memory will ever recover. Herofest lets me indulge that geeky, fantasy-loving, escapist side of me before going back to being screamed at by my tutor if I under-glaze a loaf of bread. I can’t really complain, I have had to come up with a vile new anthology of insults from spur-of-the-moment frustrations caused by the ineptitude of others. My vocabulary is increasing at a rapid rate, though not, as my theologian grandmother might have thought, for the better.

Speaking of bread and keeping with the lovely and colourful fantasy themes, I offered up to Ileandra the idea of creating a personal recreation of Lembas Bread, originally spoken of and made famous in Lord of The Rings; a dense, highly nutritional bread, sliced into thin cakes and wrapped in leaves, dark on the outside and cream coloured on the inside. A recipe guarded by elves, it will sustain a man for a full day’s march.

Technically, as a Valkyrie, maybe I shouldn’t be the one presenting an Elf with this recipe, but we’ll let that slide. I made the bread without any leaven apart from one egg to give a slight bounce alongside wholewheat, buckwheat and millet and a decent dose of flaxseed. It is made sweet with the ‘fruits of the Mallorn’ (apricots…) and drizzled with honey before being baked. A sticky outer appearance can be made by wrapping up the baked bread in cling film while it cools. The honey creates the darkened outside while the millet keeps the inside a creamy colour and the apricot preserve melds with the nutty textures and lifts up the earthiness. Wrap in Mallorn Leaves (crepe paper…) for a final finish.

Makes 4-6 slices of Lembas Bread

Time Taken: 1 hour

Things needed: 1 baking tray, lined with baking paper, mixing bowl

INGREDIENTS:
½ cup wholewheat flour
½ cup millet
¼ cup buckwheat
¼ cup rye
1 heaped tablespoon flaxseed meal
1 heaped tablespoon apricot preserve
1 egg
1 knob of softened butter
Warmed milk
Honey

RECIPE:

  1. Preheat the oven to 190C.
  2. In the mixing bowl, mix together the flours and the flaxseed meal with a pinch of salt.
  3. Make a well in the centre and crack the egg into it, beat it and add the apricot preserve and butter, slowly bring in the sides, adding a drizzle of milk at a time until you have a dense mix – more wet than dry but not malleable and quite sticky.
  4. Press into the baking tray to about 1 cm thickness and drizzle honey thickly on top. Place in the oven for 35-45 minutes until the top is a golden brown and a knife in the centre comes out clean.
  5. Leave to cool, wrapped in cling film if you want a sticky, shiny outer appearance.
  6. Trim off the edges and slice up, wrap in Mallorn Leaves and you’re ready for your quest!
Picture of lembas bread; yummy!!!

Credit: Juls Stodel

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NaNoWriMo 2011 4th Week Excerpt

Filed under: My Writing, NaNoWriMo 2011 — Leave a comment
November 26, 2011

Okay… so much for my plan to give you one of these each week. *shrug*
I fail a lot this week… though in my defence I have a lot on my mind.

Anyway, next excerpt, written on… Thursday I think, when I was catching up to my own mini target to beat last years word count. Not quite made it yet, but I’m VERY close now. ^_^

Oh and I’ve totally been cheating. :( Since figuring out rhymes for the stupid elf slows me down something rotten; if I’m sprinting, I’ll simply write what I want him to say normally with intent to go back to it at a later date. So… don’t be fooled, this elf may not speak in rhyme but it is the same one from the last excerpt.

Alyssa pulled her fingers out of her mouth, releasing the breath she barely realised she had been holding. “What happened?” She whispered. “I was right under his nose; how come he didn’t see me?!”
The ugly green elf smiled a huge smile, bowing low until his ears scraped the floor. “I have much magic, Princess,” he boasted, “Illusions I can perform of the highest kind. He would never see what I did not want him to see.”
She sagged against the stack of filled cages. “Well thank you. I owe you. He looked so angry! What does he want you so badly for?”
Valerian opened his mouth to explain but got no further than an exhaled breath. Myst reformed from a puddle in the corner of the room and was practically dancing from foot to foot.
“You must return to your room!” She cried. “He’s going to your room!”
Alyssa felt a sudden flood of cold rush through her body. “But I’ll be fine, surely? He wouldn’t suspect me?”
“We were supposed to lock you in! If he finds you are gone, he will know. Then he will suspect many things. We will all be in danger. Maybe even you, Your Highness.”
A lump of something horribly like fear wedged at the back of Alyssa’s throat. She swallowed it down with effort. “I’m never going to beat him down there; there’s only one way. How am I going to do it?”
Valerian slipped passed her, crawling up onto the window sill and peering down. “You have wings,” he said lightly. “Fae fly fast, as I understand. Why not fly down?”
“Excuse me?!”
Myst brightened abruptly. “Yes, he’s right! If you fly down you can beat him. Fly through the window and down. Zephyr can guide you.”
“But- but I can’t fly!” Alyssa waved her hands frantically but Myst was already gone. Zephyr swirled into place from the crack beneath the door, reforming rapidly from his customary mist.
“You can, Your Highness and you must.” Brisk and business like, Zephyr hurried over to the window and threw himself out of it. With no effort at all he hovered in the air, drifting up and down slightly on warm updrafts. “It is simple. Wings are for flying and you have to use them. There is no choice now; please hurry.”
She looked down at Valerian. “Please tell me you’re not serious. Fly?!”
“Its that or be caught, Princess.”
A terrified wail rose up from the floor. It sounded like Myst.
Zephyr held out his hand. “Please!”
Encouraging cheers and shouts came from the captured pixies and, through it all came Verbascum’s clear, calm voice. “Faeries fly. Any faerie touched by my dear cousin Lilly is destined to touch the stars. Go!”
Shaking, Alyssa climbed onto the window sill, crouched on the narrow lip of stone like a trembling, fleshy gargoyle.
The courtyard far below swam before her eyes and she leaned sideways into the open frame.
At eye height a pair of sparrows wheeled and danced, effortlessly navigating the air and they danced in play.
“I can’t do this.” She moaned. “I can’t! I’m just a woman; a secretary. I file paperwork. I make coffee. I’m not supposed to fly.”
“A Princess can do anything she desires!”
Before Alyssa could do more than gasp, she felt two tiny hands shove her hard in the back. She tumbled from the window with a blood curdling scream, spinning over and over and the castle wall raced passed her face and the ground rushed closer and closer.
Zephyr followed her down. “Fly my lady, you must fly! Use your wings, please! Use them; they are there! They are yours!”
Air clawed at her skin.
“I can’t!”
Her hair flapped wildly, tangling in her ears and face.
“You were born with them, Your Highness, it is just like walking! Please you must try or you will die!”
Cold wind raced up her arms and legs as the skirts of her dress billowed wide.
“Please, Alyssa!”
Alyssa scrunched her eyes tightly shut and spread her wings, throwing out her arms at the same time. She flapped like she had in the wash room, without really understanding how, knowing only that the action was as natural and simple to her as stepping off a ledge. Ironically.
The sudden cessation of movement jarred her back and shoulders and Alyssa couldn’t help but shriek once more.
Then Zephyr was right in her face, pressing a hand against her mouth and pointing around the side of the castle. “That way!” He hissed, clutching her neck now, pressing himself close like a limpet. “Quickly.”
Tears of relief streaming down her face, Alyssa followed the instruction. With careful flaps of her wings she spiralled upwards when Zephyr indicated a window was too close or down for the same reason.
She traversed rapidly around the side of the castle until she saw a window with three water sprites hanging out of it, hopping up and down and beckoning frantically.
“He’s on the steps!” Myst shrieked, putting out both hands to grab a handful of Alyssa’s skirt.
Alyssa hardly had time to be grateful of the assistance before the sprites bundled her through, mercilessly shoving, pushing, poking and prodding until she and the rest of her voluminous dress made it through the narrow window.
She fell to the floor with an unceremonious thud just as the sound of a key in the lock touched her strained ears.
Biting her lip, Alyssa leapt to her feet and smoothed down her dress as best she could, trying to ignore the tickling and wriggling as the sprites dived between her skirts.
Alyssa turned to gaze out the window, cupping her chin nonchalantly in her hands and adopting a relaxed slouch.
The door opened.
“Alyssa!”
“Oh!” She spun around, feigning surprise, tangling a hand in her hair to cement the act while simultaneously hiding the windswept curls. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
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NaNoWriMo 2011 2nd Week Excerpt

Filed under: My Writing, NaNoWriMo 2011 — 1 Comment
November 10, 2011

Well I’m a decent way it, I suppose the time has come to give you an excerpt, right?

Okay… well here it is.
Remember; the piece is unedited and I think I might have knocked it out at 1am on Sunday morning. Yes actually, since that’s when my update was freaking out at having characters speaking in rhyme. -_- I still think its a bad idea… but I’m sticking with it.

Florian sneezed loudly, wiping a stream of snot from his nose and rushing up to the thick trunk of a flowering oak tree. The massive branches and their distinctive leaves formed at least a little shelter from the driving rain. It was enough to give him time to pause, wipe his face, dry his wings, check on the little princess.
 Alyssa looked none the worse for way. In fact, she was lively again, twisting her head to find the gap in her wrapping so that she could watch the surrounding land. More than once Florian was forced to close that gap as the rain began too much for him.
 “You’ll be ill,” he warned her. “And I’ve nowhere to take you.” He hugged the bundle tight to his chest. “I don’t know what to do! Everyone I knew is back at the castle… probably hiding in the kitchen. I’m not suited to look after you.”
 The baby kicked out her legs; as good a demonstration as disbelief as she could manage. Her tiny voice gurgled softly.
 “You must understand,” he whispered, “I promised to protect you. I would still give my life… but… my life isn’t much. I don’t have much to give you. No friends, no family, no home. Well… the castle; but that isn’t safe any more. King Roman is all I had.”
 He sniffed, trying to keep back the sting of tears.
 When he failed, Florian slumped down to the ground, pressing his back to the tree and sobbing as the panic finally began to take him over.
 Just what was he planning to do?!
 Far in the distance, the howl of angry wolves began to follow him.
 Florian gritted his teeth, not in the least surprise that at least some of them had tried to follow his scent; even through the driving rain.
 Alyssa stirred restlessly and Florian knew that he had to keep moving.
 He adjusted her bundle. Flattened his wings. Tucked his head into the neck of his tunic and began to run away.
 Minutes passed that felt like hours. Florian’s feet were starting to ache. His stomach was knotted with pangs of hunger and fear made him constantly turn to watch his back. One such instance sent him sprawling forward, twisting on a tree root and forcing him to twist his shoulder round to catch the blow.
 More pain raced through his bones and he was once more aware of the lingering aches from his fall through the pile of straw. The body could only take so much.
 When he came to the boarders of the Tresaal Woods he knew at last he could go no further.
 The roads from the castle were straight and comfortable, but remaining on them only made pursuit more likely to catch up. Florian looked at the gnarled and twisted branched of the black and close packed wood and knew that to stay lost, he had to become lost.
 “At least it will be drier under the trees.” He said.
 The baby gave an indignant squeal, reaching her tiny hands out of the bundle.
 “Don’t argue, Princess.” Florian made his voice as firm as he could. “I can’t think of a better way to do this. And I must stop soon or sleep on my feet. My body aches.”
 He struck off the road and into the trees, at once feeling the difference in the air and on the ground.
 The wind ceased to ruffle his hair and hurl stinging raindrops against his cheeks. Instead, it died all together and quickly brought with it a menacing silence that held not even the sound of woodland creatures. The occasional drop of water made it through the dense canopy, but otherwise the ground was dry.
 So dry that Florian was mystified to realise that his way was choked with weeds and brambles, ferns and clinging ivy that gripped his legs and dragged him down.
 The trees clustered together, making space sparse, though a natural alley of slightly clearer land seemed to open up before his feet.
 Florian followed it, too tired to consider why it was there, or who had made it so. He stumbled on, one hand now dangling loose to lift trailing creeps and catch tree trunks when roots tried to snag his feet.
 Darkness closed in.
 Though moonlight did a better job of sneaking through the leaves, it was certainly not enough to see by.
 Florian stubbornly ploughed on through the dark, stuffy damp until his foot pressed down onto something soft, smelly and slippery.
 He gagged, recognising the scent of rotten meat almost in the same moment that a soft voice hissed; “What are you doing alone in the dark? With no light to see by, not even a spark.”
 At once he stopped walking, jerking his foot back and standing utterly still.
 “No answer? No answer! How terribly rude. Now what, pray tell, is the source of your mood.”
 Florian licked his lips. “I need somewhere to stay.”
 “A home; I see… he wants a home. A familiar, normal and simple syndrome, to cure with a payment so simple and fair, before the false king is ever aware.”
 “You know about that?!”
 “Boy, I know everything; you really should not be querying my words to you as true as ever they could be to you.” With those words the darkness shifted and from a space near the ground appeared a pair of blinking yellow eyes. “Aaah. Fugg.”
 In light of the events of the night so far, Florian felt less inclined to be annoyed at the insult. Instead he squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. “And you are a carrion elf.”
 “Such names you give, but if you would live then beg my forgiveness and maybe your rudeness I’ll forget long enough to hand you the bluff to save your filthy skin.”
 Florian felt his head begin to spin. Though he’d heard tales, never before had he spoken to an elf and this one seemed eager to do nothing more than talk.
 “I don’t need your help.” He said at last. “Thank you but I’ll be on my way.”
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Another LARP Adventure

Filed under: FUN!, Procrastination — 2 Comments
July 11, 2011

So… Herofest. I know you want to know about it, so I’m going to tell you about it. I’m going to give you highlights rather than going from start to finish because I remain useless and remembering things as and when I want them. But this should give you an idea of 1) why I’m still glowing from how awesome it was and 2) why I’m so bloody knackered! Oh and if you’re not familiar with LARP or Herofest or roleplay, then you really haven’t been reading this blog for long enough. Go back now – yes… yes, right now, please – and look up entries with tags like Herofest, roleplay and LARP. That will give you background and also serve as entertaining reading. ^_^ Promise.

Now… on with the highlights.

Troll Ball
Tête de trollImagine Quidditch. You got that image in your head? Nice and tight? Good, now swap kids on broomsticks for elves, half orcs, humans and god knows what else with swords, spears and axes and turn the little nippy golden snitch into a troll head. Got that in your head? Even as a still? Good… now let it play. Hehee, even just imagining it is fun, isn’t it?

Skull Ball
You’ve played dodgeball right? Jumping hoping and diving all over the place to avoid balls hurled in your direction. Well again, you’re an elf, and your dodging icky white skulls. Hehee, see, still funny right!

In case you’re wondering why I’ve kicked off with two games, well this run of Herofest was the Interplanar Fayre and there are always plenty of games to be played among the factions.

Aranthar Returns o.O
Zombie costume portraitYes, I would have told you about this chap before but he turned up again this event. I knew he would somehow; he’s just become too much of a cool bad guy to play with and he has potential for really mucking some people up. He turned up on the Saturday night as the Zombie of Doom, bearing the Staff of Doom and proceeding to throw horrible spells around and do people most serious injury. Including me. Which is even more dramatic from a story point of you since this guy is my zombiefied father o.O who I disowned almost a year ago now for having my lover horribly murdered. See what happens when you give people a little bit of plot to play with? I’ve said before I’m a plot whore, well its true; the very second I heard this guy scream the name ‘Fenwyn’ I was up like a shot, racing across the sand to see what all the fuss was about. I did get mortally wounded for my trouble, but having elf mates about generally takes care of that for you. It was fantastic; I got to shout and wave my arms around while being angry and self righteous! Then I get to fall on my face in the sand with a scream of unspeakable agony as my father plunges his spear blade (or was it a quarterstaff) into my chest. ^_^ YEAH!

Gentle Talky-Talky Roleplay
For some reason, there seemed to be a chance to do far more of that this event. I think I’m becoming less scared of just letting Trya Fenwyn, the character speak. I mean, I’ve roleplayed her enough now and she gets far more of an airing at Herofest then she ever does at the Ice Wolf Tavern. I get to be here at Herofest and feel out her physical mannerisms and think about how she talks, walks and acts. Its going to make playing her online a deal more fun and, when I get around to writing her novel, it will be even more interesting because I know so much more about her than I did when I originally began. Anyway, this event, I got to speak to people a whole lot more as my character which was fun. I arranged the use of the totem belonging to another faction to enable us to perform our ritual, I spent a good few minutes speaking to an NPC who was gently dropping information about lands on another plane which link delicately into our own plot (thanku Wayne!!! Not sure if I got to play off you other than that through the course of the weekend). And I got to talk to other characters who were simply completely bonkers and actually managed to make Trya a little bit stressed (seriously, the ritualist was crackers. Forgotten his name now, but good show Paul. Good show). There were even more instances when I was frightened out of my mind. Obviously not in a concerned-for-my-actual-life way, but frightened in character enough that it (really) elevated my heart rate. The Dymwan challenge was one of those moments (the wraith at the end actually had me growling and screaming- which is a true Trya reaction when faced with something scary – who the hell was in that mask?!) and the arrival of a single soldier of the thull on the doorstep of the Summer Stars encampment (thanks Mike, you’re creepy!).

PotatoesWho Has Got The Biggest Spuds?
Not Trya, apparently, but it was close. Very close; I came second. Another game, if you hadn’t already guessed. A game in which you are handed a potato and a piece of string once your weapons are frisked away from your person. Instructions; fasten said potato to the string, tie string to waist to allow the potato to dangle between your knees. Then… disarm your opponent the same way you might while playing conkers. With a potato. Its probably the most I’ve laughed in a single hour in my life. Hilarious!

Sleep Is For Wimps
I must be a wimp; that is what this weekend has taught me. But it didn’t stop me from staying up all of Saturday night into Sunday. Well, but for two hours. But really… there are far too many important conversations and drink to be had that shouldn’t stop because it happens to be four in the morning. Or because the sun is about to rise. Pfft… sleep is for wimps. So… I didn’t. ^_^ I certainly felt it on the way back in the car, especially since I really didn’t want to fall asleep. And this morning I wasn’t sure I’d make it all the way through work, but there we are.

Sucking Uglee’s Balls
Yellow happy smile from wikimedia commonsYeah. I can’t deny it. I did. They were incredibly sour and I thought my face was going to turn inside out, but I survived. I did manage to give the Dai-Fah-Dyne a good laugh as a result though. And myself for that matter. Bwaha ha h hahahaaa!
…
Don’t be so filthy; they were sour sweets!!! :p

So… those are the highlights. That doesn’t, by a long way come close to covering everything that was fantastic about this weekend, but I’m sure these posts have a word limit, so there’s only so much I can say. I will, however, take a quick moment to say ‘sup to the following:
Helen- you are a gem; strong, kind and funny and I hope everything’s all right now that you’re home.
My Minion- yes, even here, that is your name. You’ve given me plenty of giggles this weekend and I appreciate it (I still ain’t paying you though).
Herofest Monster/Kitchen Crew- you guys deserve soooooooooooo much more thanks than I have words for, but my big sloppy kisses will have to do for now. xXx
Face Lover- Heh, you love my face!

Right, that will do for now. :D

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