So… you know when you have something you want to share but can’t make yourself do it? You know when you think about it for ages and ages and ages and then finally decide that its time to share? But then when you get to that point you realise ‘eeeep, nuuu way!!!’
…Well that was about a week ago now.
However, I think, after pasting the news to my (personal) Facebook, I really couldn’t hold back any longer. In fact, some of you may already know. Those of you who don’t… well… sit down… take a deep breath, eh?Okay….
Woo! Fuck, there I said it. No falling mountains or hurricanes laden with death and destruction.
Whoa, whoa, wait, who said you could start hopping up and down? I’m not done! Let me finish…!
I’m pregnant. With twins. Identical twins.Thaaaaaaaaat’s right. I warned you!
Yes… that is the news I’ve been sitting on since my LARP and the news that has had me running back and forth between floods of tears spurred by terror and gleeful giggling that makes my stomach muscles ache.
Pregnant. Twins. Due in May.
Needless to say I’m frightened out of my mind. Needless to say I’m excited. Needless to say I’m an emotional roller coaster, one that I can’t slow or stop (no matter how much I need to) and that everything I knew or planned or wanted has changed dramatically in the last three months. Everything that is, except writing. Its been the one consistent constant. Not that I was able to write much in the beginning of October and everything I was doing took an incredible nose dive into the abyss of ‘my-life-is-over-how-am-I-supposed-to-write-you-fooooool!!!’
However, friends far and near have helped me through. My partner has been amazing and even though I’m not in the least bit ready, every time I look at the scan photos and see those massive twin heads, facing each other and practically holding hands through the murk that is my womb, I can’t help but think… I’ll be okay. Just.
And no… I’m not kidding.